ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
