i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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