i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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