Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I want her autograph on my taint
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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