Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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