; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
