Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
