i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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