i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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