so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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