I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize