Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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