just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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