ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So many bounce houses so little time
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
