i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
pray to the hookup gods
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize