How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
