WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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