i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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