help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
