Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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