im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
