Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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