this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
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My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
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Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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