It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
