I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
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Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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