Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
sex in a hospital.. check
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
