Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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