i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
everyone is single if you try hard enough
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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