whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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