sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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