I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
