so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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