Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
