I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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