You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
