party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
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I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
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I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
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