I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
