he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize