through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
