Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
