I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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