i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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