so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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