that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"