If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.