i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.