my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
