She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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