With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
