the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My feet surprised me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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