First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
