So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
