a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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