We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
