It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
