ugly people sure do ruin things
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
