Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
