we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
