I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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