I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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