Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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