I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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