I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
