Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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