I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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