I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
